My Housemate's Partner Is Here Every Night – What Are My Rights?

If your housemate's partner is staying over most nights, it can quickly turn from a minor annoyance into a daily frustration. You might feel like you’ve gained an extra housemate — without anyone agreeing to it or paying extra. It’s a common problem in shared rentals, but there are fair and effective ways to handle it.

Understanding What’s Reasonable

In most tenancies, you’re allowed to have guests. The issue isn’t having visitors — it’s when those visits become so regular that your flatmate’s partner is essentially living there. This can affect bills, space, noise levels, and even breach your landlord’s rules about occupancy.

Shelter notes that blanket bans on guests are often unfair, but landlords can set reasonable limits or require consent if someone effectively moves in. You can read more about tenancy clauses and what to look for in your contract on Shelter’s website.

Check Your Agreement

The first step is to look at your tenancy agreement. If you all signed a joint contract, you share responsibility for the property, so it’s important to agree house rules together. If you each have separate agreements — common in HMOs (Houses in Multiple Occupation) — you might find clauses about overnight guests or “additional occupiers.”

There’s no fixed UK law saying how many nights per week a guest can stay, but your contract might include language about “regular” or “permanent” guests. If you’re unsure, ask your letting agent or landlord to clarify what counts as an occupier rather than a visitor. GOV.UK has useful information about HMO rules and licensing.

When a Guest Becomes a Housemate

If your flatmate’s partner is there most nights, keeps belongings in the room, has a key, and uses the address for post, they’ve probably crossed the line from “visitor” to “occupier.” That can trigger extra legal obligations for the landlord, especially if the property becomes overcrowded or breaks HMO licensing limits.

You can check your local council’s website for specific rules on occupancy and room size. Councils like Ealing Council publish clear standards on what’s acceptable.

Talking It Through

Before involving anyone else, talk to your flatmate. Choose a calm time and explain how the situation is affecting you — whether it’s bills, space, or privacy. Be specific and fair. You could say:

“I’ve noticed [partner’s name] is staying most nights. It’s starting to feel crowded and it’s pushing up costs. Can we agree on a fair balance — maybe a few nights a week, with some notice for longer stays?”

It’s often easiest to agree on simple ground rules together: how many nights a week partners can stay, when to give notice, and expectations about noise and cleaning. SpareRoom has good advice about handling overnight guest issues in shared homes — see their guides on roommates and overnight guests.

Put It in Writing

Once you’ve agreed on something, write it down. A short “house agreement” helps avoid future misunderstandings. You can note how many nights per week guests can stay, what happens if it goes over, and any shared costs for bills or cleaning.

If you’re a lodger living with your landlord, be extra careful — your lodger agreement may already restrict overnight guests. Citizens Advice explains the differences between lodgers and tenants, and what rights each type has. Read their guidance on sharing accommodation.

If It Doesn’t Improve

If your flatmate ignores the discussion, or the situation continues, it might be time to involve your landlord or letting agent. Be factual and polite in your message. Explain what’s happening, what you’ve tried, and how it’s affecting your living situation. Ask them to check what your agreement says about guests or additional occupiers.

Here’s an example you can adapt:

Subject: Frequent overnight guest affecting household

Hi [Name],

I wanted to ask for advice about frequent overnight stays by my flatmate’s partner. They’re staying most nights, which is increasing bills and making the property feel overcrowded. We’ve tried to set limits, but nothing’s changed.

Could you confirm what our tenancy says about regular guests or extra occupiers, and whether consent is needed if someone effectively moves in?

Thanks,
[Your name]

If you’re worried the property might now count as an unlicensed HMO, you can report it confidentially to your local council’s housing team. Councils can check for overcrowding and help landlords stay compliant.

If you’re ever threatened or pressured to leave for raising the issue, remember that harassment and illegal eviction are criminal offences. Read more about your protections on GOV.UK and Shelter’s illegal eviction guide.

Final Thoughts

Having guests is part of normal life — but when it starts to affect others, it’s time to find a balance. Start with a calm conversation and written agreement. If that fails, know your rights and use the support available from Shelter, Citizens Advice, or your local council.

The goal isn’t to ban partners from staying over — it’s to keep your home fair, comfortable, and within the rules.